This is a secure motherfucking website.

SSL certificates are fucking free.

It took seconds to secure this fucking website.

None of those other fucking websites have SSL/TLS certificates despite how fucking simple it is to set them up. Not only is this website secure, but it's also just as perfect and beautiful as those other sites:

• Shit's still lightweight and loads fast but now your connection to it is fucking encrypted.
• Still fits on all your shitty screens but now none of your devices complain about the lack of a fucking security certificate.
• Still looks the same in all your shitty browsers and encrypts your connection like a fucking champion.
• The motherfucker's accessible as fuck to every asshole that visits this site and won't get de-emphasized by search engines for not having a fucking security certificate.
• Shit's still legible as fuck and gets your fucking point across.

This shit isn't hard:

You might not know it, but setting up a SSL/TLS security certificate is easy. Lets Encrypt keeps easy-ass documentation to walk you through the process like a bunch of fucking heroes.

Yes, this is fucking satire, just like the other ones.

I love what the creators of those other sites have done but my point is that it's super duper easy to secure a site these days. Come on, you guys! Fuck!. Websites are broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, and accessible, but they're also fucking insecure. You and all the other web developers out there need to make them not total shit.

"Insecure websites are fucking stupid."
- Abraham Lincoln

Epilogue

Inspired by the geniuses behind motherfuckingwebsite.com and bettermotherfuckingwebsite.com.

This page—that's fucking secure—was created by me.